Alone In Silence 

My mind is light and my mind is dark, but I must have both to ignite my spark. Like Yin and Yang my mind needs balance, to quiet these voices I hear,when I sit alone in silence. My heart starts to rattle the bone cage within; I shake, I shiver, I feel anxiety kicking in.

Breathe in, breathe out. 
Grab my crystals, feel it out.
Breathe in, Breathe out
Something isn’t right; I just want to scream and shout!

Breathe in, breathe out. My mind is overflowing with all of these thoughts and these feelings.

Breathe in, breathe out. But being alone in this silence, is what’s killing me.

The darkness, It dances and wanders, while I lay down alone in silence and ponder; of everything and everyone.did i do this? Did that get done? Go away you fucking voices, Just leave my fucking head. I don’t want to hear these thoughts, I just want to go to bed.  All of these thoughts and feelings come rushing in at once; I shake, I shiver, I feel, Fuck,anxiety has won. Sleep just isn’t working , my head just isn’t right; So I turn the music on and all my thoughts are fucking gone. I feel the rush in my feet, Move my body to the sound of the rhythm and the beat; the music and the dancing, are my remedy. Fuck you anxiety, you can’t control me! My mind is light and my mind is dark, but I must have both to ignite my spark; to find the balance, and quiet these voices I hear, when I sit alone in silence. My heart starts to rattle the bone cage within; I shake, I shiver, I feel anxiety kicking in. 

Breathe in, breathe out.  Grab my crystals, feel it out. Breathe in, Breathe out. Something isn’t right, I just want to scream and fucking shout! Breathe in, breathe out. My mind is overflowing with all of these thoughts and these feelings. Breathe in, breathe out, But being alone in this silence is what’s killing me.

My light chimes in and says, “There is a lesson learnt from all this darkness, and I know you are feeling dead; All of these thoughts and emotions are just messing with your head.
You give so much of your love away, and have made mistakes that have hurt you in some kind of way.  I know these thoughts and emotions have you on the ground, feeling all the pain; But it will only bring strength, that you will grow from and gain.”
My dark slowly sneaks within, and wants to put her two sense in, asking these questions and saying these lies: “will I receive the love, that I so freely give to others? No, no one will ever love you. Will the fear fade away? Where did it all go wrong? Will I be brave enough to let people  in? Will someone help me pick up the pieces, that have shattered from the falls? How could you be so stupid, haven’t you learned anything at all?” But my light is stronger than my dark, and through it all shines my spark; reminding me that, through all my pain and struggles comes my strength, growth, creativity, and there is no room for this negativity.

The battle of light and dark will forever be a constant; it’s just an endless hunt of always finding a balance; of right and wrong, past, present, and everything in between. And even the thoughts in your head that make you want to scream; Go away you fucking voices, just get out of my fucking head. I don’t want to think of the past, I just want to live in the moment instead. But my mind is such a bother, And I lay here and I ponder, while the darkness in my head just dances and it wanders.

Breathe in, breathe out. Grab my crystals, feel it out. Breathe in, Breathe out. Something isn’t right, I just want to scream and fucking shout! Breathe in, breathe out. My mind is overflowing with all of these thoughts and feelings. Breathe in, breathe out, But being alone in this silence is what’s killing me

My mind is light and my mind is dark, but I must have both to ignite my spark. Like, Yin and Yang, my mind needs balance to quiet these voices I hear, when I sit alone in silence. My heart starts to rattle the bone cage within; I shake, I shiver, I feel anxiety kicking in. So I get my friend the journal, pick up the magic pen; I start to write it all out, and suddenly I don’t feel the urge to scream or fucking shout! The pen and the paper, are my remedy. Fuck you anxiety, you can’t control me!

©LindseyDean

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